J &K are a South Carolina-based couple destined for future fatherhood. They are embarking on their first surrogacy journey and are blogging every step of the process for LGBT Fertility. Join them as they take each amazing, momentous step. We hope you enjoy!
Q: Tell us about yourselves …
A: We first met through an online dating service back in 2010. After about a month of emailing each other back and forth, we finally decided to get together for our first date on April 10, 2010. From there, we dated for a year before we moved in together. After that, we began to work towards buying a house together, picking up some cats along the way. After we bought our house gay marriage finally became legal in the state we live in; we set out on the journey to have a wedding.
Following our marriage, we continued through life’s ups and downs until we decided to start our journey towards having a child of our own together.
We are both rather nerdy, enjoying a variety of sci-fi, fantasy, and other forms of TV, movies, and games.
Q: When did you know you wanted to become parents? Was there an “aha” moment?
A: For us, the conversation of having children has been ongoing throughout our relationship. It wasn’t really until about 2017 when we had the major aha moment and decided to expand our family. We went through the process of researching our options: adoption or surrogacy. We finally decided last year that we really wanted to go through surrogacy to bring a child into our lives.
Q: Where are you in your journey regarding growing your family? Have you selected an egg donor and gestational carrier?
A: We are currently in the process of getting ourselves ready for our appointment with LGBT Fertility. We have selected an egg donor and are waiting to find out her availability. We’re waiting to get things squared away with the fertility center before we get the ball rolling with our surrogacy agency. We’re excited to find a wonderful surrogate to join us on our journey.
Q: What part of the surrogacy process are you most excited about?
A: We are looking forward to the pregnancy part of the process; we can go through the fun of working with our surrogate and preparing for the arrival of a wonderful baby into our lives.
Q: Is there a part of the process that makes you nervous?
A: Finding the right egg donor and gestational carrier for our family. We would like for them to be involved in our child’s life beyond the surrogacy journey if possible. Finding two ladies that we connect with and will be a great match is very important to us.
Q: Do you have any friends/family that have gone through a surrogacy journey? If so, what advice have they given you?
A: Unfortunately, we don’t have any friends or family who have gone through surrogacy. Through research, we have spoken with different couples who have. The best advice they have given us is to pace ourselves and try to have an open-communication relationship with the surrogate.
Q: What advice can you share with other future fathers about taking that first step toward becoming parents?
A: The best advice we can give to prospective fathers is do the initial research. When you start the process, it is very easy to become overwhelmed. There is so much information being flung at you regarding finances, clinics, surrogacy choices (i.e. traditional or gestational surrogacy, using an agency or matching on your own, etc.), and legal considerations. By doing some research, you can minimize information overload and find the best approach that works for you.